So where did I learn my step-mom skills?

So where exactly did I learn my amazing parental skills you ask? Well as I sit quitely, only because the children are sleeping, I wonder to myself "How did you end up with these amazing skills, to ignore and resent children"? Oh that's right I once too was a step-child.  

My father had an amazing skill at finding the one person on the planet that had no skill to care for another human being, let alone a small child.  She couldn't relate to us in any fashion at all. I remember thinking to myself, if there was an emergency who is going to take care of us?  Don't get me wrong she was a nice enough person, she just had the personality of a dry piece of toast. When I think back to the many conversations we had together I think we only exchanged a total of 11 words.  

I know that I was not the easiest person to deal with, but it just seemed like she made no effort at all to break through the walls that I had built to protect me from the reality of my new, seperated existance.  

Was this how it all began?  Did this tragic relationship shaped my future ability as a step-parent, as a regular parent?  This was something I need to ponder longer.  I need to undestand what skills, or rather lack there of, that I have learned and how they have molded me.